John Howard hasn’t just appropriated Pauline Hanson’s policies to stay in power. Remember the signature photo of Hanson wrapped in the Australian flag? Howard’s done the same on the frontpage of his website.
So, what does a man who’s suddenly lost control of the Australia he so dominates do to get on the front foot? After a bad day defending the indefensible Abbott, and some bad trade figures, what better way of reminding the Australian people why they love him, deep down, than to defend Waltzing Matilda?
But you don’t want feral reporters asking about your trials and tribulations, so your spin doctor, Tony O’Leary, calls Channel Seven at about 3.45pm and announces it’s been chosen – as the official rugby network – to come on down to the PM’s office to hear him proselytise for a minute on the song. No-one else is to be told, no other subject is to be raised, and Seven has to give the footage to other media. Hey presto – you’re on all the newses defending our culture and YOU’RE in control. Phew.
Still, it’s all a bit fraught. Howard actually urged Australians to defy the rules of the Rugby people, sort of like One Nation supporters did to the big-party cartel. “I pose the question, how are they going to stop it being sung? You try and stop 82,000 Australians singing Waltzing Matilda, you’ll only make their night.” (full transcript)
Hmmm. Funny thing to say, really, when you’ve spent days defending your parties’ big-money machine abuse of the legal system to stop One Nation and its supporters singing their tune..
Waltzing Matilda is about a battler who’d rather die than be incarcerated by the rich and powerful pastoralists and their enforcers. How would that go today? The squatter (Abbott, rich backers’ gold in pocket) sends another swagman to the billabong to trick our hero into taking a walk, the rat hands our hero to the cops, he’s paid off and our hero goes to jail?
Waltzing Matilda
Banjo Paterson, c. 1890
Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong
Under the shade of a coolibah tree
And he sang as he watched and waited ’til his billy boiled
You’ll come a-waltzing matilda with me
Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me
And he sang as he watched and waited ’til his billy boiled
You’ll come a-waltzing matilda with me
Down came a jumbuck to dri-ink at that billabong
Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee
And he sang as he stuffed that jumbuck in his tucker-bag
You’ll come a-waltzing matilda with me
Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me
And he sang as he stuffed that jumbuck in his tucker-bag
You’ll come a-waltzing matilda with me
Up rode the squatter, mounted on his thoroughbred
Up rode the troopers, one, two, three
“Where’s that jolly jumbuck you’ve got in your tucker-bag?”
You’ll come a-waltzing matilda with me
Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda You’ll come a waltzing matilda with me
Where’s that jolly jumbuck you’ve got in your tucker-bag?”
You’ll come a-waltzing matilda with me
Up jumped the swagman and sprang into that billabong
“You’ll never take me alive!”, said he
And his ghost may be heard as you pa-ass by that billabong
You’ll come a-waltzing matilda with me